I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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