I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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