why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
