I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
