Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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