I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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