North Korea, Best Korea!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
