I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
