This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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