yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
