I think I died a long time ago.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize