drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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