i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
