I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
