I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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