Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
