Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
