let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
