OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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