Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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