Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Still dying that you shit outside
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
