At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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