i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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