Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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