Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
