Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
