the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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