I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
