She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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