don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
