HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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