is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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