I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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