put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
