I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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