Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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