you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
