I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.