Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode