is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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