I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
