So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
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Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
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I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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