FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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