just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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