i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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