My nipple is on Facebook.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
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You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
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I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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