i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
