were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
