just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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