At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
