Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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