how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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