don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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