I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
