when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.