You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
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All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Everclear isn't food dammit