At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
