Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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