just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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