I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
